A useful way of thinking about the development of the young athlete I have proposed below.  Because it is impossible to look at the development of the young athlete without also taking into account the changes experienced by the parents and siblings, I have addressed the development of the young athlete as an issue for the entire family.

In this model, I would like to describe three main stages of development for the typical family with youth athletes. I have adopted this Youth Athlete Model based on any progression of an athlete that I have ever dealt with.

Phase One (Exploration)
Phase Two (Commitment)
Phase Three (Proficiency)

Phase One:  Exploration

Most important stage of the athletic family’s development, usually occurring between ages 4 and 12
Child tries different sports , explores his or her skills

Ages are only guides

In some sports, like gymnastics, children tend to be very young when they get involved competitively,
In other sports, like cross-country skiing, athletes are usually much older when they reach a competitive level

Child may experience several cycles of development in different sports (e.g. play soccer at 5, tennis at 7, track at 13).

All of your kids have just experienced this over the last year as beginning kayakers in the FRPA. Each athlete has full exploration of what the sport from the competitive side is all about and can be seen from a relaxed and enjoyable point. This includes an introduction of what training entails and an offer to extend the higher end of the sport if a commitment is desired leading into the following year.
If a commitment is desired to reach higher levels within a sport, the athlete then continues towards stage two.

Phase two: Commitment Phase

   *Increasing commitment of young athlete to her chosen sport.

   *Extent of commitment is major issue faced by family, especially for the talented athlete.

Problem Areas :

Excessive conflict

Parents, and sometimes coaches, may have a different set of expectations or goals than the athlete, which often leads to conflict.
The athlete has to have, or rediscover, his own personal reasons for playing sports.  In other words, the athlete needs to see that participation has intrinsic, personal value.
Only the strongest and most confident children have the skills to resist expectations of their parents and to fight for their own dreams.

Burnout


Where the child gives up on their own dreams and adopt the goals of their parents or coach, they are doomed to failure and burnout often results.
When the external reasons for playing (to get a scholarship, to win a game, to impress a scout, to please a father) predominate over the intrinsic reasons (what I call the externalization of sports) burnout becomes likely.
If the athlete feels in control so that he views participation as part of his self-development, then sports can be a healthy part of growing up.  If the athlete feels controlled, and feels that he is not making the decisions or developing as an individual, burnout is more likely.  A study of fifteen adolescent athletes, who had been age-group champions in their sport but had then quit, found that the way high-level sports were organized   contributed to the their decision to quit: they felt little control over their own lives, and felt that they had little identity outside of being an athlete.  This lack of control and restricted identity cause a great deal of stress, and the sport ceased to be fun.

Under-Involved Parents

When parents display no interest whatsoever in the sporting activities of their children, it is very difficult for the young athlete to become committed to a sport.  This can place a great burden on the coach, who often feels for the athlete and tries to make up for the parents’ lack of support or mis-directives.

When parents are not involved in their child’s activities, the few coaches who are likely to abuse a young athlete have an increased opportunity to engage in such abuse. This is why I encourage parents to form a good relationship with myself or any other coaches, and why I encourage coaches to be open to parents who want to know what goes on at practices and on trips.

Phase 3: Proficiency

Characteristics:

Athletics become the central feature of talented athlete’s life. When an athlete is talented and strives to develop that talent to the fullest, this phase requires long hours of training, intense coaching or studying of the sport, and participation in very competitive events.  The athletic role becomes a central feature of the young person’s life.

Goal setting becomes important for the average athlete. For most athletes, however, this phase involves becoming good enough to reach one’s goals, whether that goal be playing on an intramural team or being good enough to make the high school junior varsity.

Problem areas:

Unsupportive parents. Parents who are critical of their child’s efforts, who react negatively to continued participation, and who express doubts about the potential for success can be an obstacle.

Overly competitive youth sports programs. Instead of promoting mass participation, most focus on a talented few (often failing them as well) and ignore the needs of the rest.  Such programs turn young people away from sports in huge numbers.  Limited resources and facilities deny many youth athletes opportunities to participate.  Children will stop dropping out of youth sports programs if the programs meet their needs.  If adults stop   organizing these programs on the basis of their own needs, great changes are possible.  Perhaps such changes can also begin to permeate our high school and colleges.  Can you imagine what such institutions might be like if sports programs were developed for all students, not just for an elite few who provide entertainment for the rest?

Guidelines For Parents:

The goal for a healthy young adult is personal competence.  Support the emotional and financial independence of your child.

Provide continued emotional support and a refuge from the pressures of competition

Accept the authority of the coach and become less prominent in the decision-making.  Focus on parenting rather than coaching.  An effective parent sets limits and expectations.

Common Principles:

Some fundamental principles apply, regardless of the phase.  The most basic is the notion that the young individual must be supported to gradually assume responsibility for making their own decisions and setting their own goals.  If parents, coaches, or administrators impose their own goals and ignore what the young athlete wants, problems are sure to follow.  Responsibility must be taught and modeled during the exploration phase, encouraged during the commitment phase, and supported during the proficiency phase.

Guidelines for continuing excellence from the athlete and coach:

   *Encourage participation. Promote your child’s interest in physical activities.  This can be a challenge during a time of a child’s development when there are many competing demands on a child’s time.

   *Don’t push. Tap into your child’s natural love of physical activity and play.  Unfortunately, many youth sports programs turn children off by being boring, repetitive, overly demanding, or insensitive to their needs.   Look for "child centered" programs that emphasize fun and skill development.

   *Provide emotional support: As your child deals with competition, be there with emotional support. Focus on helping your child learn valuable life skills.

   *Involve your child in decision-making regarding sport choices.  This is the age for the child to learn to be self-reliant.

   *Reinforce and support your child’s decisions and commitment. This is the time to learn about perseverance, commitment and delayed gratification.


   *Recognize likely shift in influence. Your child will start looking more to peers, teachers and coaches for guidance.

   *Communicate with coaches. Keep building good communication with coaches; teach your child to do likewise.